Indian HomeMaker do visit- Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' & 'd' do not appear anywhere
in the spellings of 1 to 99
(Letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred)
Letters 'a', 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the
spellings of 1 to 999
(Letter 'a' comes for the first time in Thousand)
Letters 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the
spellings of 1 to 999,999,999
(Letter 'b' comes for the first time in Billion)
And ,
Letter 'c' does not appear anywhere in the spellings
of entire English Counting .....
Showing posts with label must watch. Show all posts
Showing posts with label must watch. Show all posts
Worth a serious read
London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense
Interesting and sadly rather true.
'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar
could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral, because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.'
The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:
"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper using a barometer."
One student replied:
"You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground.
The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."
This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed.
The student appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case.
The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics.
To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in & allow him 6 minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity the basic principles of physics.
For 5 minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use.
On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:
"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper,drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground.
The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer."
"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end & measure the length of its shadow.
Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow,and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper."
"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper.The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi sq root (l / g)."
"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it & mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up."
"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building."
"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him, 'If you would like a nice new barometer,
I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'. " The student was Niels Bohr, the only person from Denmark to win the Nobel prize for Physics.
Through the jongole I am went
On shooting Tiger I am bent
Boshtaard Tiger has eaten wife
No doubt I will avenge poor darling's life.
Too much quiet, snakes and leeches.
But I not fear these sons of beeches.
Hearing loud noise I am jumping with start
But noise is coming from damn fool's heart
Taking care not to be fright
I am clutching rifle tight with eye to sight.
Should Tiger come I will shoot and fall him down,
Then like hero return to native town.
Then through trees I am espying one cave ,
I am telling self - "Bannerjee be brave"
I am now proceeding with too much care
From far I smell this Tiger's lair
My leg shaking, sweat coming, I start pray
I think I will shoot Tiger some other day.
Turning round I am going to flee
But Tiger giving bloody roar spotting Bengalee
He bounding from cave like footballer Pele
I run shouting "Kali Ma tumi kothay gele"
Through the jongole I am running
With Tiger on my tail closer looming
I am a telling that never in life
I will risk again for my damn wife!!!!
Malaysia’s 1st glass temple, the Arulmigu Sri Raja Kaliamman Temple, located in Jalan Tebrau, Johor Baru, is set to become a major tourist attraction apart from being used by Hindu devotees.
The Star quoted temple chairman S. Sinnathamby as saying that 95 per cent of the temple’s walls, ceiling, domes and pillars have been adorned with over a million pieces of colourful glass imported from Thailand, Japan and Belgium.
The total cost of the temple is approximately three million ringgits.
Sinnathamby added that the glass pieces were carefully put together by nine Myanmar workers, and motifs and symbols like the Swastika, Namam and Sri Chakra were created from the glass pieces in seven colours.
The temple was built on land awarded by the Sultan of Johor in 1922, and it was renovated for the first time in 1996.
Sinnathamby said he first visualised the glass temple his Thailand visit, and funds for the construction were raised through community programmes and public donations.
The air-conditioned temple, which can accommodate about 1,500 devotees, would be officially opened on October 25th 2009.
Before the marriage:
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to the top !!!!
A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girl friend back home. It read as follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love, Becky
The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or ex-girlfriends.
In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope along with this note:
Dear Becky,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the hell you are.
Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care,
Ricky
Moral of the story:
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
To participate is very easy, just view the attached photo, correctly
answer the following questions
1. Which student seems to appear tired / sleepy?
2. Which ones are male twins?
3. Which ones are the female twins?
4. How many women are in the group?
5. Which one is the teacher?
Good Luck!
Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication
engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had
never heard of this college before!
Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an
admission into it ..
What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in
12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college.
But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not
invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I
will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this
college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the
most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.
Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete
your engineering.
Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But
you know, these cricket matches and football
world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate.
So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took
4 + 2 = 7 years.
Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I
will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good,
thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think
they should ban it.
Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be
banned.
Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!
Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never
thought I would complete it. In fact, when i
flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus
corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.
Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower'
education itself was so much of pain!!
Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms
have you worked?
Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my
current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my
platform then. As you can see I have
experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in
Mumbai)
Interviewer: And which languages have you used?
Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet
in German, French, Russian and many other languages.
Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a
higher version than VB. I heard very soon they
are coming up with a new language VD!
Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the
language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.
Interviewer: What is your general project experience?
Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of th! e
times they are in pipeline!
Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd.
Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining
BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.
Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know
Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to
dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And
very important - I know few words like -
'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes',
'SEI-CMM','quality','versioncontrol','deadlines' , 'Customer
Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!
Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not
have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear
t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so
as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term
preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer
US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is
Olympics coming up in
China in the current year, I don't mind
going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't
have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?
Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our
organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to
INFOSYS.
The fellow was appointed in a newly created section 'Stress Management'
in
the HRD of Infosys Pune.......
Jim Carrey is on Ellen show, look at how he made his entrance
| Labels: comedy, hollywood, must watch
James Eugene "Jim" Carrey (born January 17, 1962) is a Canadian-American actor and stand-up comedian. Carrey is best known for his performances as multiple characters in the sketch comedy show In Living Color, as the title character in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, as the unlucky TV reporter Bruce Nolan in Bruce Almighty, and as lawyer Fletcher Reede in Liar Liar. Carrey has also achieved critical success in dramatic roles in films such as The Truman Show, Man on the Moon, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. His three-decade career also includes roles in Hollywood blockbuster films such as The Mask, Dumb and Dumber, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, and Fun with Dick and Jane.
Excerpts from Wikipedia
Fear Factor - Khatron Ke Khiladi is a reality show on Colors TV. This is the second season of the Indian version of the American stunt/dare reality show Fear Factor. Like in the first season, this season will also be hosted by Akshay Kumar. It is reported that the tasks which were lined up for Khatron Ke Khiladi Level 2 were the most dangerous amongst all Fear Factor shows worldwide.
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