Funny One Liners

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Bungee Jumping... Suicide with strings attached.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone'

The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more

I don't buy fat-free milk because I don't want to encourage cows with negative body image issues

The citrus grove foreman; "Do you have any experience picking lemons?" The applicant; "Sure, I've been divorced three times."

There is no record in human history of a happy philosopher

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